School Nurse Flu Season Survival Guide

Flu Season and School Nurses are Scrambling

I get a call from one of my old schools with no school nurse the other day, “Nurse Kevin, how do we know when we should close school because of the flu?” WOW! That was a great question. And my response was simple. “It’s at the point where administration is asking the ‘close the school’ question is when you need to close the school.” Thus far in my 5-year school nursing stent of my 22 year nursing career I have taken care of children at 6 different schools (more than some…but WAY LESS than most). It’s just about that 5-year mark that we school nurses starting getting into our groove (maybe). And, as all the years in the past, it’s just after the Christmas break when we start seeing children feeling “kinda sick” one day and suffering from all-out flu-like symptoms the next day.

What’s the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

Swine Flu requires Oinkment and Bird Flu requires Tweetment.

Y’all know the flu, right? Sure you do; you’re a school nurse! Ahhh, let’s talk about it anyway. This is what we’re gonna learn about:

What is the Flu?
How do you catch the Flu?
How does the Flu make us sick?
What is the Flu Shot?
What is the Flu Season?
What is the difference between the flu and a cold?
In Walks the School Nurse

What is the Flu?

Flu or “the flu” is a contagious respiratory illness caused by influenza viruses that infect the airway: nose, throat, and lungs. That’s the simple explanation.

We know what the flu is…but really, WHAT’S the Flu? How do we catch the Flu and what does the Flu do to us? How does the Flu make us sick? We know the simple explanation but what is “the rest of the story?”

If you ever find yourself in a pandemic, Nurse Kevin’s first rule to follow is: DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE! The Good Lord dotted our cranial sphere with all kinds of moist, drippy orifices (some of us have more self-installed holes we stick metal objects through) that we tend to bombard with cooties on a minute-by-minute basis as we unknowingly and ambiguously pick, scratch and flick with our dirty little fingers that are absolutely covered in viruses and bacteria…and this is even after following rule number 2: WASH YOUR HANDS.

I know y’all have always heard that you should FIRST wash your hands…yes! Yes! YES! Definitely. But, truth be known, it’s where we put our hands (washed or otherwise) that matter the most. Trust me, there’s likely less bacteria on or in that “area”…also known as “The Ken Doll’s nether regions”…than are on our cellphones…and we still preach, “Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.” When in fact we should be preaching, “Wash your hands after using the phone.” There’s a rumor running around that only 5% of the population wash their hands correctly after going to the bathroom, so that 95% are still touching everything outside the bathroom…that we touch with our “washed” hands. So…

“DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE” – Nurse Kevin

Influenza, the virus that causes the flu, is transmitted by little, “tiny droplets made when people with flu cough, sneeze or talk.” “Droplets?” That’s a nice way to say, “Spit, Slobber, Mucus and Boogers.” And, the CDC also says that you might get the flu, “by touching a surface or an object that has flu virus on it and then touching their own mouth, nose or possibly their eyes.” Again, getting someone else’s slobber in one of your own facial orifices. So, “Don’t touch your face.”

Then again…flying slobber from someone coughing, sneezing or talking…handwashing or touching your face ain’t gonna matter.

How does the Flu make us Sick?

Our bodies are pummeled each and every moment with an array of viruses, bacteria and fungi; they are literally floating around in the air and we are continuously sucking them in.